When Street Smarts Meet Suburbs: The Challenge of New Environments

Ever felt completely lost in a situation where everyone else seemed to know exactly what they were doing? That strange, unsettling feeling often comes from lacking tacit knowledge – the unwritten, unspoken rules that help us navigate specific environments successfully.

Growing up in South LA during the turbulent 90s taught me essential survival skills: which colors not to wear, streets to avoid, and how to stay alert to potential dangers. But when my family moved to the suburbs, I discovered something shocking – all my carefully honed street smarts were suddenly useless. I remember getting lost just one street over from our new home and feeling more terrified than I ever had in South LA. The quiet streets of suburbia operated on completely different social codes that nobody had bothered to explain.

This pattern repeated when I entered college. As a first-generation university student from a culture where women traditionally don't leave home until marriage, I had no guidance on dorm life or campus culture. Where do we turn when we lack the tacit knowledge to navigate new territories? How do we learn the unspoken rules of parenthood, new careers, unfamiliar social settings, or simply making friends as adults?

That's why this podcast exists – to create a space where we can share the tacit knowledge we've gained through experience. From simple hacks like discovering bottle service lets you skip club lines to more complex social navigation, we'll explore the invisible rulebooks that govern different environments. By sharing these insights, perhaps we can help each other feel less lost when facing new situations.

Tacit knowledge cannot remain unknown once acquired. It's what helps us behave appropriately, know what to say and when to say it, and ultimately succeed in any environment. Join us as we uncover these hidden protocols together and transform unspoken wisdom into shared understanding.

Transcript

Growing Up in South LA

Speaker 1 0:01

Hey everyone , welcome back to the Tacit Knowledge podcast . I'm your host , elvira De Silva . On my last episode , I mentioned how I lived in South LA during the 90s . The 90s in South LA were very volatile and you had to be very street smart . Gangster rap was emerging , gang violence was at an all-time high . The riots had just occurred , racial profiling and police brutality were very common .

Speaker 1 0:28

Growing up in South LA as a kid , you knew what look not to give certain people , what colors not to wear and which streets not to venture into , and you always had to be aware of a drive-by or somebody hitting you up . This is the tacit knowledge we learned . So how did this tacit knowledge help me for a positive or negative when my parents decided to move us to the suburbs

Fish Out of Water

Speaker 1 0:54

? Let me give you an example . Well , better stated , it didn't help me . All the things I knew growing up in the city did not apply in the suburbs . To begin with , the suburbs are very quiet , there's hardly any people and , in a way , they're more rude and more polite all at the same time . I had no clue what to do and I had nobody to guide me . It was a completely different world the way they talked , the way they dressed , the way they acted . All of a sudden , I was a fish out of water . Tacit knowledge is already something we cannot explain . It is not written and it's very hard to describe . So how was I going to learn any of this new way of being in such a strange place ? None of it made sense

Lacking Tacit Knowledge

Speaker 1 1:45

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Speaker 1 1:46

I remember the first time I was driving from LA to our new home in the suburbs and I took the wrong street . I was so lost . I was just one street over , but I had no clue where I was . I will always remember this experience because I felt extremely ignorant and I felt completely out of place . It was very scary . Sometimes I think how funny . I was never scared growing up in South LA . I knew what to do there , but all of a sudden , the streets of the suburbs were the scariest place I had ever been to .

Speaker 1 2:22

You're probably thinking what does this have to do with tacit knowledge ? Obviously you weren't gonna know where you were , and it's normal to feel this way in a new place . Yeah , that's true , and a year later I would face the same situation all over when I move into my dorm and I leave home . It was even worse than just getting lost one street over . But that's my point .

Speaker 1 2:45

I was lost and scared because I lacked the tacit knowledge to feel secure , and the tacit knowledge I knew was

Learning the Unspoken Rules

Speaker 1 2:53

no longer relevant in this environment . It was going to work against me , not for me . I felt helpless and didn't even know what I was supposed to ask , and I really didn't want to feel stupid or be vulnerable . So who was I supposed to turn to ? What was I supposed to say ? I looked around and it seemed like everybody knew what they were doing . I always thought did I miss a memo ? When I went to college , it felt the same exact way . My parents didn't go to the university , they didn't dorm . My mom went to a city college and my dad was a Vietnam War veteran . They didn't know what I was facing and , on top of that , my parents were against me being there , because in my culture , females don't leave home until they're married .

Speaker 1 3:44

So where was I going to get this knowledge from ? And I believe that this is something that all of us go through at some point in our lives . Maybe it's the birth of a new baby , maybe it's becoming a new parent or getting a new career , or having to accept an invitation to a very

Creating a Knowledge-Sharing Community

Speaker 1 4:05

you know , proper restaurant or dinner reservation , whatever . Maybe it's just trying to find how to make friends later in life , when you're an adult already and you've already had you know things you went through I don't know already . Had you know things you went through I don't know . But the point here is , where are we going to get this knowledge from ? That's how I came up for the idea for this podcast . I may not be an expert in the field of knowledge and I definitely don't have a doctorate in social sciences and I'm not going to give you the exact answers , but I thought what if peers , our peers , just people were to share their experiences and tell us about the tacit knowledge that helped them , how they navigated through it , how they acquired it , what they did , what they said ?

Speaker 1 5:06

Another great example I can remember is and it's a real simple one In my youth , when I first you know I was like what ? 19 ? No , I lie , I had a fake ID , so I was like 17 , maybe even 16 , probably , probably can't remember but we would go to these clubs and we would have to wait in these very long lines and I remember I used to hate it . It was cold , my feet would start hurting because I was wearing heels and I would see people just walking straight up to the front and they would get in and I would be like what are they saying ? What do they do what ? Why do they get to do this ? And I paid my dues . You know , I waited in more than one line and I spent way too much time waiting until finally I learned just pay for the table , get the bottle service . I would have really appreciated having a place where somebody anybody would have just said hey , you don't have to wait in line . If you have the money , get the bottle service and , ta-da , you get to walk right through the front of the door . Now I'm not saying that this works all the time , but what I am saying is that 90% of the time that's what happens .

Speaker 1 6:19

So why not help each other ? Why not share what we've learned ? We all need it and it is something that's vital to each and every one of us . Tacit knowledge cannot be unknown . Tacit knowledge is what helps you navigate the environment you're in and succeed in it . You need to know the unspoken rules . You need to know how to behave . You need to know what to do , what to say , when to say it ? Who to say it to ?

Speaker 1 6:52

That's why this podcast is important , and it's not just about social situations . It's about simple things

The Purpose of This Podcast

Speaker 1 7:00

like maybe being a new bride or having a child for the first time , or how to put you know brakes in your car I don't know . The amount of subjects is infinite . So I hope you join us on this journey , because I believe it will be very informative and helpful . Maybe you find yourself one day in a situation where you lack tacit knowledge and you could think back on an episode and say , hey , I remember this person said they did it this way , and it gives you at least a guiding way to go . That's more than some people get . Anyways , thanks for joining us and we'll see you next time .